Question # 1 to GLBT & BUDDHISM

Question # 1 - Buddhism.

Sketch of my life telling who I was when encountering Buddhism & Zen and my present reflections on the subject. Sat.,June 24, 2006.

I was born in Buenos Aires. In 1945 that was one of the uttermost parts of the world. The once cherished British Empire economic colony and one of the most sought after nazi havens at the end of WWII.

When I was 16 years old a cultural contradiction started to eat me. Being a vaguely catholic place there were plenty of people "devouted" to defile Masonry. In High School we  learned that appart from being admirers and petty imitators of Napoleon, the Champions of Liberty in Colonial Hispanic America were members of Free Masonry. I still own a schoolbook that explains the origin of contemporary British Empire through the weakenning of Spain by depriving it of its American colonies, taking advantage of Napoleonic invation of the peninsula.

It was rather difficult to understand how, if Masonry was the Cave of Satan, these illustrious caracters, whose tombs,we were told, our lips were unworthy to kiss, so ardently adhered to its ideals and purposes.

The unendable list of remarkable masons in contemporary history included, last but not least for me, my own late grandfather, an unsurmountable carácter in the family´s mithology.

So, one day, I decided to descend into the crater of the volcano. The Masonry Headquarters were located just a few blocks away from home. My fantasy (remember my age) was the risk of never reappearing on the surface again.

With trembling knees I looked up to the reproduction of Michellangelo´s statue of Moses, The Legislator crowning the humble but impressive building.

I was cordially but dryly directed to the "Joaquín V. González Library", on the same premises, where I was received by Sr. Duran , the officer in charge.

If books were my favorite escape from my nightmarish family environment, the "J.V.G. Library" was sort of Disneyworld. It was specialized on Masonry and related  subjects, of course, but being a public library it´s  scope of interests was limitless.

Uncountable evenings I spent reading what Sr Duran handed down to me through the cloud of mystery and secrecy he had created. That cloud was instilled with the fragance of dried roses and violets so caracteristic of Romanticism and the concomitant chiaroscuro of Alchemy, Occult Lore, Kabbala, Magic, all set in a Scientific Positivism key.

I soon became familiar with (names at least) HPB, Alice Bailey, Aleister Crowley, Allan Kardek, Ernest Wood, Eliphas Levy, Max Heindel...Buddhism was a recurrent theme, indeed: "The highest form of reverence to what trascends humankind..."

But since Sr Duran was a Spanish Republican and a Civil War Refugee I still have to thank him for a general introduction to social decency politics and a very definite portrait of Generalissimo Francisco Franco Bahamonde and his beloved catholic church.

I was also a privileged listener to the conversations of those masons coming into the library to wait for their formal meetings to start, and of Brothers coming out of the Lodges after finishing The Great Works of the day and never leaving without having a word with Sr. Duran. Witnessing the deferencial treatment Sr. Duran received from all these gentlemen I came to suspect that, beyond his humble librarian  duties, he had to be a distinguished Light in the ranks of the Institution.

Life took me away through it´s different paths but to this day I still keep a warm feeling for The Brotherhood of Builders of King Solomon´s Temple.

For many years I kept reading Theosophy, Esoterism of all kinds, I tried my best at Astrology (with poor results) and took formal courses on Philosophy and Literature. As part of it I read all that came into my hands on Zen, but only as a tangent interest, a mere curiosity. My accepted path was Ceremonial Magic.

In 1985 I read Taisen Deshimaru´s " The Voice of the Valley, Zen Teachings."

By then I had a picture of myself as deeply versed on Zen after so many readings, but gladly accepted that someone had to initiate me if I wanted to practice: This is bread and butter for those familiar with Ceremonial Magic.

I clearly perceived that everything started by posture and that it was imprudent  to "invent" on such a critical field. The Grendonniere address was included in the book, so I decided to write asking how and where could I contact an instructor to let me know about the right posture "for that´s the only thing I need to know about Zen". They sent me a list of Groups, Dojos and Temples all around the globe.  Then I rang Jorge Bustamante, who was in charge of "El Dojo de la calle Guatemala" (expression that´s quite an emblem for a whole generation of Zen practitioners in the Far South, long before it became HO SEN Temple - Source of Dharma - and now has turned into a Soto Zen Community in Buenos Aires, under the name of La Ermita de Paja: www.zazen.com.ar)

When I emerged from my first sitting I searched an empty bench in the neighbouring little square: "And to think I thought I knew everything about Zen!"

At first, to recite Hannya Shinngyo without understanding what I was saying was openly repugnant to me. And the Threefold Refuge too,for the religious implications I saw in it.

My Master (he rejected the title and preferred that of instructor) insisted in the value of SOUND over MEANING (Ceremonial Magic concepts helped for accepting this) And in Bustamante´s opinion the three prostrations would do me no harm and, on the sleigh, I could experience humility, by way of gesture. (nothing less! I was a very high brow carácter twenty years ago...) Finally he helped me accept that the ritual was merely a convenient FRAME to practice, which core is SHIKANTAZA. Notice that though I was very tough and rebel in those days, I never clashed with Master Bustamante (today RYUNAN BUSTAMANTE ZENJI) He was like a petal to me ( but a stainless steel petal, that is!) The sweetest of Seargents. I recall myself saying: "I don´t care about Buddhism; I come here for Zen!" Oh, lucky me, that thanks to Zen I reached Buddhism! Were it ONLY for THAT, I would be lifelong grateful to Zen! Today I hear of people who exhibit authority boasting what I uttered in my ignorance. But, you know, "Every person has his/her TAO." And, here and now, I´m happy to have acceded to an ETHICS OF LIFE as a side product. I won´t waste my time (nor other´s) trying to determine which comes first, whether the hen or the egg. Look, if you see a hen sitting on an egg you should easyly conclude what´s what and not viceversa. Sort of dog wags tail.

And, please, don´t you dare telling me "the hen also came out of an egg..." for such luminous notions can only come after taking naps under Boddhi trees. So much for Western Koans.

The only White Magic I know today is SHIKANTAZA MU SHOTOKU. All the others (that I have known) are Black , or more or less Grey, and should be dodged for the best selfish karmic reasons (The so called ALFA to start with!)

As far as the practitioner is looking for something, the purity of practice is doomed. Greed contaminates, no matter how small what you seek. "NOT EVEN A LEAF OF GRASS.!" should be picked from "there". "THERE, EVERY FLOWER HAS A POISONED SNAKE COILED AROUND IT´S STEM."  These are very ancient warnings; consider them brand new, latest generation software.

Every time you TAKE, you load karma, "bad" karma.

GIVE, GIVE GENEROUSLY, without expectations!

Sit "FOR NOTHING" and "bad"  karma will slowly burn away. Beware: If you sit for burning "bad" karma, you are acting the wrong way; you are doing it for something, there´s an interest, no matter how "spiritual".

SHIKANTAZA MU SHOTOKU

That´s my Ceremonial Magic today, and I know what I´m talking about:

"A LIFETIME USER´S OPINION." GASSHO.